Discovering New Perspectives: Lessons from 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Sometimes, reading books is easy when we just read and know the meanings of words. But, it becomes harder when we really want to understand and digest the meaning. So, for me, reading books needs a lot of effort and energy. That's why I get bored and lose focus when reading non-fiction books. To fix this, I started writing down the main things I learn from books in my blog. I hope this will help me understand better and stay interested, and also keep me going with my blogging.

Lately, I began reading a book titled "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. At the start of the book, it talks about "Paradigm and Principles" before introducing us to the 7 habits. The portion on paradigms and principles focuses on helping us understand the significance of paradigms and how they affect the way we behave and the results we achieve. He defines paradigm as the way we see, perceive, understand and interpret the world. 

Picture: Google

While the author was explaining why changing how we see things is important, there was a story that really made me think. I want to share it here:

 

“I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly- some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.

 

Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

 

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people's papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

 

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, "Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of peo- ple. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little more?"

 

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, "Oh, you're right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what to think, and I guess they don't know how to handle it either."

 

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn't have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man's pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. "Your wife just died? Oh, I'm so sorry! Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?" Everything changed in an instant.”

This story made me realize that sometimes we don't really know much about things that happen in our everyday life. We live alongside others, but sometimes we quickly decide what we think about them based on what they say or do. We don't really stop to think more, and just one talk or thing they do can completely change how we see them. But, like the story says, it's very important to know everything before we decide. I believe if we take time to really understand instead of just guessing and assuming, the world could be much better. It could make our minds feel calm and make life easier even when things are hard sometimes.

 

But you know, it's not always easy. We have a lots of things happening in our own lives, and trying to really understand what someone else is feeling or thinking can be hard. But we can't just ignore what they're going through. We need to understand and help each other, but sometimes we don't realize how important it is to be connected and help each other. So, where and how should I decide what to do? How can we be nice to others even when we're having a tough time ourselves? I'm curious about these things as I keep reading.

 

There's something else the author talked about that caught my attention. When we have problems, we usually look for quick ways to fix them, like getting advice or watching videos that seem to tell us how to fix things. But the author says it's like using makeup or taking medicine for a headache. Although it solves our problem temporarily, the real issue is still there. I'm really excited to learn how to actually fix the real problems instead of just the quick answers through this book and the 7 habits we need to imbibe to become an effective person. I'll keep sharing what I learn. Please comment to help me encourage writing and sharing my thoughts.